iHeartChangminoppa

one: I love you. I don't know any other way to say it. I hope you learn to love me back. two: I miss you. Please come back soon. I need my strength back. three: Thank you for everything you did for me in the little time I had known you. The way you died was horrible and I am officially against drunk drivers, because of that. four: I think we should get married. You're the one guy I KNOW is healthy for me and I know I am in desperate need of a clean up. Please fix me. five: I know I haven't been the nicest to you, but you need to understand that because of the past events that have occured in result to your stupidity, I have a lot of

It was early in the morning when I found myself walking the twenty blocks to your house. Thinking I was going to be welcomed with open arms, instead you turned me back around saying "go back home". And as the sun started to rise upon us, we walked. You behind me and I in front of you. I can't remember why we were arguing but I was being brave and saying things I know I shouldn't say. And that's where it happened. The pull on my arm, and my face feeling the back of your hand, blood came trickling down my nose. Everything got blurry for just a moment and I realized you were no good for me, so I ran. At least I tried too, but you wouldn't let m

You didn't talk to me at all today and it felt like, someone stuck a hundred little knives into my heart and twisted them around in circles. I couldn't cry though, for some reason. It was as if, I was all out of tears. Like I cried my eyes dry. Funny thing was, I hadn't cried in weeks. The last time I did cry, I was on my knees in the middle of my kitchen, on the phone with you. No, you didn't make me cry that night. We were fighting about something. I can't exactly remember why....Oh wait, now I do. You weren't believing what I was telling you and that hit me like a smack in the face because it felt like you were rejecting my heart

I used to love the way you would cover your face when you laughed. Almost as if you were ashamed of that beautiful smile that I fell head over heels for.  I loved the way I felt when you would wrap your arms around me. Safe, that's how I felt. Safe. I loved how soft your lips were when they touched mine and how you would kiss me so gentle, as if I was a fragile porcelain doll. I loved how your hand would get so sweaty when it was holding mine, but you would never let go and I loved how you would always keep your eyes on me and no one else. I used to love you. I used to hate how it would seem so easy for you to let me go and walk away at the

once again, i started to believe otherwise but you proved me wrong. you ripped out my butterflies, tore them to pieces and threw them on the ground. trying to piece them back together took up all my strength. and then i finally realized i'm still able to breathe without you. don't come running back with the butterfly wings and bodies separated, giving them to me. i won't be there.

 and just when i thought i had it all, you snatched it away from me and kicked me back to the starting line.

and that night you said "let's be friends", my heart broke into a million little pieces

Thoughts of you are running around in my mind, and right now I cannot breathe for the life of me. It's almost as if you have both of your hands wrapped around my neck, tightening your hold as each second passes by. Funny thing is, I like it. I like having almost sudden tears stalling at the ends of my eyes, debating whether to fall or not.

8 days later, my heart is still hurting like it just happened. Like just an hour ago, you decided to break my heart into tiny little pieces and throw them out onto the road to get ran over. And then you walked away from me and left me standing there, cold. 8 days later, I'm still sitting here in my room wondering what exactly went wrong. Why I wasn't enough for you. Why I couldn't be enough for you. Why my heart wasn't beautiful enough for you to hold onto forever. And I'm still wondering if those questions will be answered. 8 days later, I'm mad as hell at you. I want to hate you forever. I feel like putting your heart on fire and n

One day later ; I'm trying my hardest to be strong about this, about everything but right now I have lost all my strength to even try anymore. I miss you so much that my whole body hurts, inside and out. I regret not looking into your eyes last night because the picture of your face in my mind is already starting to fade away. No matter how many tears I bother crying, it's not going to fix or change anything. So many thoughts in my head, I don't know what else to do or what else to think about. This has to be love, right? This sharp pain in my stomach and this hurt in my heart ... What else could it mean? I love you. Why won't you let me?

i shouldn't tell you this. not because it doesn't matter, but because you simply do not exist. it took me a long time to admit this so i will not be easily convinced otherwise. i find i can no longer imagine a world with you in it. i can no longer remember a past that makes sense to me. i have no idea where i've been or where i'm going and all of this just does not even matter to me. i swear, though, i haven't gone crazy. at least not yet. i'm giving myself another few days before reality completely falls away. but don't worry about me. it'll all be okay. i just can't be concerned right now. see, the catalyst to this situation is really ju

I wake up tired. I wake up tired and it's afternoon again. I wake up tired and I am alone. It's like every night i fall asleep with you on my mind, and I quickly sort through my thoughts leaving the prettiest ones on top so I can try them on in the morning. So everyday, I wake up and try on being in love with you. Except every morning, it's three inches too big or a centimeter and a half too small or it's brushing my kneecaps like it's too long. But I wear it anyways, since I'm used to being a shade left of ordinary or two steps past crazy. I'm used to wearing love and I'm used to you. I'm used to falling asleep next to you and waking up

this is me telling you that we'd be great if "we" didn't include "me"

so here's the thing: you're not you and i'm not me and we're not us. and all i know is that this is heartbreak in the worse way since right now i know i can't have you but ohdeargod please i really do want you. and maybe everything is a circle so i'll get you or will be okay since life goes onandonandon or is about to completely destroy me or is just...done with. complete. over. but one thing i know is that it is november and i am so so sick of saying goodbye to things i love. but it's true that everything good has an ending and this is mine.